All I want for Christmas....

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I can not believe that it is Christmas time again. This time last year I had just started back at work, gone through a VERY recent divorce, and had a child diagnosed with developmental delays. Flash forward one year and I now am in the same job but a new city, am struggling to save a relationship with a man that I care for more than I ever realized, and still strive everyday to aid and assit my little "special" child with everyday tasks and challenges.

God has been at work in my life this year, but sometimes we truly have to take a step back to see it. Life can be so "all-consuming" that we often fail to notice the ways he is working on a daily basis. For example, I get caught up in my job so much that I fail to give thanks for the beauty of having a stable job to go to during this rough economy. I failed to take the time to be thankful to God for the ease in which my trasfer to Savannah happened. What a wonderful blessing that has been to my life. I also fail to stop and thank God for the miracles he is working in my son Ethan's life. I often only see the "failures" and the things that Ethan is lacking and I never stop to see just how many strides we have made in one years time. When Ethan first was diagnosed in November 2009, he could not answer a question, repeated everything he heard, and was almost completely incapable of having even the slightest of conversations. Now this little angel can answer you properly, can speak in more direct sentences and be more concise, can talk about relevant things happening in the world around him, and can love on you and express his emotions more appropriately. What a miracle this is. God is SO good!!!

So it's Christmas time again and I want to remember when I close my eyes tonight that I do truly have so much to be thankful for.

And as for that special man in my life, I seek God's guidance and wisdom to form me and help me become the woman that I truly need to be so that I can be a partner for the man that I love. I have run scared, made countless mistakes, acted out of fear of the unknown, and ultimately pushed away the one person that I love so dearly. I know we can not go through our days punishing ourselves and I try to focus instead on making things right within myself so that I can make things right with him as well. Keith, I have failed you, dissappointed you, hurt you, let you down, and taken your goodness for granted. However, I have loved you, cried for you, prayed incessantly, hoped for the things that you wanted and regretted the things that went wrong a long the way. You are my best friend and I miss you so very much....more and more with each passing day. My Christmas wish this year is just you....all I wanted to have this Christmas was you!

God Bless all my friends and family. I pray that it has been a wonderful Christmas day filled with love and family.

Brittney