Praying....

Tomorrow is the day we take Ethan to see the Pediatric Specialist and my nerves have never been more on edge. I am ready to get a firm diagnosis but at the same time I do not want to face the reality of what lies ahead. I am not in denial....far from it....but I just want for one more night to pretend this isn't happening. I count my blessings every night for I know I am fortunate to have two beautiful children, however as a parent you can not help but want better for your child. You can not help but want to take it on yourself and make it all go away for them - essentially make the world a perfect little place for them to enjoy. I look at my precious child and can not help but think that he deserves so much better than this. The guilt overwhelms me sometimes thinking that this could have been prevented had I done something differently.

I just ask any friends and family that may read this that you please lift Ethan up in a prayer tomorrow morning if you think about it. He is a precious, loving child, and I want to forever treasure and preserve him just as he is. I just wish I knew what the prognosis is for his life long-term and I wish I felt more equipped to handle it. I worry constantly that I will fail him.

I know we each have our own burdens to bear and our own worries but please let us always remember the innocence of these children that are so affected by these unknown and misunderstood disorder.

God Bless!

Brittney