Have you ever found yourself at a Crossroads? I am sure we all have a time or two in life and it is scary to think that these many moments we encounter can very well shape the path our lives take. Maybe only temporarily or maybe for an even greater period of time...
As many of my friends and family know, I have been preparing for my "new career" for the past year. I have been taking all the necessary tests, calling up and getting my old high school and college records, finding SAT scores from 9 years ago, and getting all my ducks in a row. At the time Joey and I moved to Coweta County (pre pregnancy) I started making calls to the Board of Education to prepare myself for the 2009-2010 school year. I was told at that time that there would be a job fair held in mid to late April 2009 to hire all teachers for the upcoming school year. Well in September when we found out about our little miracle on the way, I still had full intentions of forging ahead with my plans for teaching this August. Joey and I have bounced ideas back and forth and I just thought it would be best for us if I went ahead and started working. Well I was logging on to the Coweta County website first of this past week and guess what I found...a banner advertising the JOB FAIR...which they state is being held in 4 weeks!!!! Wait...back up a second....4 WEEKS!!!!!!!!! I am not prepared for 4 weeks. I immediately start having a panic attack. I thought I had more time to decide about next year, thought I had more time to figure things out and get myself mentally prepared to leave my very very small infant in the hands of someone else....thought I had time to get myself emotionally prepared for this big decision...and then it hit like a ton of bricks...time is out Brittney, you must decide now because this is something I have to register to attend, must make sure my application and all reference letters are turned in, and then I must go and sell myself in hopes of finding a perfect fit.
So you see....I am at a Crossroads. Maybe I have been putting off the inevitable, convincing myself that if this JOB FAIR were indeed in April I would magically have the answer by the time that date arrived. Delusional huh? Or perhaps I thought that Joey's business would get off the ground really good between January and April and I would feel more secure about waiting another year and not starting to teach until August 2010 when my daughter will be 15-16 months old. Maybe I just dont like having this HUGE decision weighing down on me....because teaching is not really like any other job. It's not like I can say..."well I will wait until January when Ella Grace is 7 months and then I will start looking...." nope if I put this off then I will more than likely not find any openings until Fall 2010 when they start hiring for that school year. Now I know there is never constant assurance in any decision we make, but I would like to feel a security blanket thrown over me knowing that if I do decide to stay home for a year with my daughter (as I have done with my son) then I can rest assured that my decision was the right one.
Joey says stop stressing myself out about it...says to wait one more year til I am good and comfortable putting her in a day care and then start teaching then...with a clean conscience and the ability to go to work everyday knowing that my children are safe and happy and well cared for.
For those mothers out there that do not get to stay home with their children but want to, my heart goes out to you. Call me crazy (and some have) but my heart is with my son and I know that I doing better by him then anyone else would be able to. And so what if I have to work until I am 60 to put in my 30 years for retirement all because I stayed home and cared for my kids while they were small. Will there be any regrets then? I highly doubt it. I will never get this time back, Ethan will never be two again, and once it is gone I know it is gone for good.
What a tough choice we mothers are forced to make. I just consider myself so blessed that for me it is even a choice at all!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
A major pregnant moment...
I am certainly having a major pregnant moment...well let's say a major pregnant day! Thank goodness I have been blessed with the most understanding husband God could have ever created. I think my hormones are just having a hayday right now or something because today has been a day unlike any other the entire 5 months of this pregnancy.
I worked today at an elementary school which is hard because you have to be up at 5:30am and also hard because I do not love that age group. But..the extra money is nice so I forged ahead. Well about mid day I started getting so sleepy that I could hardly keep my eyes open. The lovely 10 and 11 year olds kept coming up to me with ridiculous statements or questions and I found myself staring at the clock wishing time would indeed fly by for once. Finally I get out of there and go to pick up Ethan only for the day to get worse from there. You see, my child has hit the "terrible twos." And you know it's the terrible twos because your night goes something like this:
Walk in the door and child starts screaming for Pablo (a favorite tv character) so you oblige and turn on the show is wanting. 5 minutes later he starts screaming for Super Why (another show he loves) so again you oblige and change the channel for him. You go back to the kitchen, get elbow deep in hamburger meat only to hear your child starting stomping and kicking and once again demanding Pablo. At this point you have washed your hands free of hamburger meat 3 times and your nerves are starting to get tested. So you tackle this issue by turning off the TV and encouraging your child to go play and what are you met with....a full blown temper tantrum because you have just turned off his favorite show. Once mayhem subsides and you attempt to sit down for those hamburgers you have been working on for 2 hours, your child decides that he hates hamburger meat tonight so he is going to refuse to eat anything but fries and vanilla wafers. No matter how hard you struggle, only fries and wafers pass the lips. Once dinner is finally over your nerves are shot, your lucky if you have any hair left, your at your wits end, when in walks your husband from work having missed all of the evenings earlier festivities. Not that your bitter, I mean after all he was working all day, but sometimes it just rattles that last little nerve that is barely hanging on after the all out struggle with your toddler for the past few hours.
Can anyone relate? I am sure I am feeling this extreme because as I mentioned earlier the hormones must be out of whack or something. So you know what wonderful hubby did...made me wash my face and put me in the bed along with the lap top so I can blog it all out and attempt to feel better. And said hubby is currently upstairs bathing devil toddler who has for the moment returned to his normal angelic self.
And to think we are adding another one in to this mix. Oh dear God pray for my nerves and sanity :)
So I do feel better now that I have aired everything out. Writing must be a release. I think I will go enjoy my quiet time in my bed, feet kicked up, pj's on, and maybe have a good cry to get all these crazy hormonal emotions out of my system. Can't wait to feel better in the morning!!!!
I worked today at an elementary school which is hard because you have to be up at 5:30am and also hard because I do not love that age group. But..the extra money is nice so I forged ahead. Well about mid day I started getting so sleepy that I could hardly keep my eyes open. The lovely 10 and 11 year olds kept coming up to me with ridiculous statements or questions and I found myself staring at the clock wishing time would indeed fly by for once. Finally I get out of there and go to pick up Ethan only for the day to get worse from there. You see, my child has hit the "terrible twos." And you know it's the terrible twos because your night goes something like this:
Walk in the door and child starts screaming for Pablo (a favorite tv character) so you oblige and turn on the show is wanting. 5 minutes later he starts screaming for Super Why (another show he loves) so again you oblige and change the channel for him. You go back to the kitchen, get elbow deep in hamburger meat only to hear your child starting stomping and kicking and once again demanding Pablo. At this point you have washed your hands free of hamburger meat 3 times and your nerves are starting to get tested. So you tackle this issue by turning off the TV and encouraging your child to go play and what are you met with....a full blown temper tantrum because you have just turned off his favorite show. Once mayhem subsides and you attempt to sit down for those hamburgers you have been working on for 2 hours, your child decides that he hates hamburger meat tonight so he is going to refuse to eat anything but fries and vanilla wafers. No matter how hard you struggle, only fries and wafers pass the lips. Once dinner is finally over your nerves are shot, your lucky if you have any hair left, your at your wits end, when in walks your husband from work having missed all of the evenings earlier festivities. Not that your bitter, I mean after all he was working all day, but sometimes it just rattles that last little nerve that is barely hanging on after the all out struggle with your toddler for the past few hours.
Can anyone relate? I am sure I am feeling this extreme because as I mentioned earlier the hormones must be out of whack or something. So you know what wonderful hubby did...made me wash my face and put me in the bed along with the lap top so I can blog it all out and attempt to feel better. And said hubby is currently upstairs bathing devil toddler who has for the moment returned to his normal angelic self.
And to think we are adding another one in to this mix. Oh dear God pray for my nerves and sanity :)
So I do feel better now that I have aired everything out. Writing must be a release. I think I will go enjoy my quiet time in my bed, feet kicked up, pj's on, and maybe have a good cry to get all these crazy hormonal emotions out of my system. Can't wait to feel better in the morning!!!!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Start of an adventure.....
Hello All!
Well my sister started a blog, and lots of my friends have these so I thought I might give it a try. My husband says that I am your typical stay at home wife...meaning I like to cook, constantly find something to fix around the house, and now apparently blog as well. It seems fitting!
For those who might read this that don't really know my family, a quick overview can sum us up. My husband is 31 and owns his own business which means he works like crazy. I am 26, pregnant with our second child, and a stay at home mommy right now. We have a perfect 2-year old little genius named Ethan who is the light of our lives. He is a mommy's boy but I have no problem at all with that. Our daughter, Ella Grace, should be making her debut in late May.
I love being at home and find that I don't really miss the working world. Maybe it is because I feel like there is so much I might miss out on if I left Ethan for long periods of time. I substitute teach from time to time to start making some connections here in the county since we just moved, but I spend most of my days with my son trying to teach him to potty, watching cartoons, playing cars and putting together puzzles. If anyone reads this and has any good tips on how to be successful when potty training a boy then I am all ears. I don't really think he is ready mentally quite yet to understand what the potty is all about, but when your two year old pats his little behind and tell you that he poo poo'd I feel like some call to action is required. So we have set out on the potty adventure. And to call it an ADVENTURE is quite an understatement. Ethan likes to dance around it naked, put his feet or various toys down in the potty, open and close the lid 1000 times, and best of all have accidents right on my carpet or bathroom rugs despite constant reminders to sit down when he feels pee pee or poo poo coming. I know you blog readers are super psyched to be reading about my toddler's bathroom antics but I did warn you in my ABOUT ME section that this would be a crazy blog about the life of a young family.
As for Joey and I, I guess we are pretty boring compared to the potty adventure we are on. We steal nights away whenever we can afford our babysitter or whenever a too kind grandparent calls and volunteers for a toddler filled night. We live for the nights we get to go to dinner together and have adult conversations without any interuptions or thrown food or spilt drinks. We know all to well that these next 4 months we better treasure our nights out because we seriously doubt anyone will volunteer for newborn duty along with an energetic 2 1/2 year old in tow.
I look forward to sharing our craziness with friends and family through this blog. Most of our family lives local but there are those that live away that we do not see often enough. Hopefully this will allow them a little window in to our day to day family life.
Until next time....
Well my sister started a blog, and lots of my friends have these so I thought I might give it a try. My husband says that I am your typical stay at home wife...meaning I like to cook, constantly find something to fix around the house, and now apparently blog as well. It seems fitting!
For those who might read this that don't really know my family, a quick overview can sum us up. My husband is 31 and owns his own business which means he works like crazy. I am 26, pregnant with our second child, and a stay at home mommy right now. We have a perfect 2-year old little genius named Ethan who is the light of our lives. He is a mommy's boy but I have no problem at all with that. Our daughter, Ella Grace, should be making her debut in late May.
I love being at home and find that I don't really miss the working world. Maybe it is because I feel like there is so much I might miss out on if I left Ethan for long periods of time. I substitute teach from time to time to start making some connections here in the county since we just moved, but I spend most of my days with my son trying to teach him to potty, watching cartoons, playing cars and putting together puzzles. If anyone reads this and has any good tips on how to be successful when potty training a boy then I am all ears. I don't really think he is ready mentally quite yet to understand what the potty is all about, but when your two year old pats his little behind and tell you that he poo poo'd I feel like some call to action is required. So we have set out on the potty adventure. And to call it an ADVENTURE is quite an understatement. Ethan likes to dance around it naked, put his feet or various toys down in the potty, open and close the lid 1000 times, and best of all have accidents right on my carpet or bathroom rugs despite constant reminders to sit down when he feels pee pee or poo poo coming. I know you blog readers are super psyched to be reading about my toddler's bathroom antics but I did warn you in my ABOUT ME section that this would be a crazy blog about the life of a young family.
As for Joey and I, I guess we are pretty boring compared to the potty adventure we are on. We steal nights away whenever we can afford our babysitter or whenever a too kind grandparent calls and volunteers for a toddler filled night. We live for the nights we get to go to dinner together and have adult conversations without any interuptions or thrown food or spilt drinks. We know all to well that these next 4 months we better treasure our nights out because we seriously doubt anyone will volunteer for newborn duty along with an energetic 2 1/2 year old in tow.
I look forward to sharing our craziness with friends and family through this blog. Most of our family lives local but there are those that live away that we do not see often enough. Hopefully this will allow them a little window in to our day to day family life.
Until next time....
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