Savannah Bums

So..it has literally been forever since I have posted something on here. I still log on often and read about everything going on in everyone's lives, but I often forget to update anything about my crew.

So here it is in a nutshell....

We have been in Savannah going on 4-months now and it has been a great change. I work with some great people, found a cute little house for me and the kiddies, and found a really great christian daycare that is literally a stones throw from my office door.

Kids have adjusted well to being here. I think they know that home is wherever Mommy is. Ethan is really enjoying his school. He went from having 22 other kids in his class to now only having about 8 so he gets a lot of individual attention and feel comforted knowing he is being watched carefully.

Ella Grace is only 1 of 4 in her class. Her teachers love and dote on her all the time. How could they not when she is so cute and cuddly. She is walking/running everywhere, is in to everything she sees, and is learning a few words slowly but surely. She eats everything in sight but somehow manages to be a little string bean - GO FIGURE!

We are in the process now of trying to get Ethan's doctors/therapies relocated to Savannah but that has been a tremendous undertaking. I am still not quite sure what to think about all of it...since no one here is really someone I can go to and ask about their experiences with said Doctor or said Therapist...

Ethan is progressing a little more each day. We still continue to seek God's patience and understanding as this is such a trying and taxing process - but one well worth it in the end.

Hope all is well with my dear Friends!

Brittneyhttp://http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=651592783

Praying....

Tomorrow is the day we take Ethan to see the Pediatric Specialist and my nerves have never been more on edge. I am ready to get a firm diagnosis but at the same time I do not want to face the reality of what lies ahead. I am not in denial....far from it....but I just want for one more night to pretend this isn't happening. I count my blessings every night for I know I am fortunate to have two beautiful children, however as a parent you can not help but want better for your child. You can not help but want to take it on yourself and make it all go away for them - essentially make the world a perfect little place for them to enjoy. I look at my precious child and can not help but think that he deserves so much better than this. The guilt overwhelms me sometimes thinking that this could have been prevented had I done something differently.

I just ask any friends and family that may read this that you please lift Ethan up in a prayer tomorrow morning if you think about it. He is a precious, loving child, and I want to forever treasure and preserve him just as he is. I just wish I knew what the prognosis is for his life long-term and I wish I felt more equipped to handle it. I worry constantly that I will fail him.

I know we each have our own burdens to bear and our own worries but please let us always remember the innocence of these children that are so affected by these unknown and misunderstood disorder.

God Bless!

Brittney

A New Year and a New Beginning!

And so 2010 is underway.....

I spent New Years Eve like every year before since Ethan was born.....curled up on the sofa trying desperately to stay awake and failing miserably at it.

Would I love to be celebrating with friends and family? Of course.....but that time will come around again and for now my focus is on my children and the closeness I share with them.

As many of those of you that actually read this know....I just recently got divorced. That means 2010 and this New Year takes on a whole new meaning for me personally. I would never have chosen this path nor did I expect to ever be sitting in this position but now that I am I am making the best of what is left of the pieces of me.

Is that silly? That I am in pieces? Because I am....I have been attending a Divorce Care class and it was told to me that it will take me 5 years to properly grieve my divorce. 5 YEARS!!!!!! In 5 years both of my children will be in school. Can I really expect to be alone for that long? If so that seems mildly depressing. But I am hopeful that 2010 will be a time for healing and a time for moving on. I am not bitter, I am not resentful or angry.....I have given my marriage everything I can to try to save it at all costs and I am met by a brick wall. I will also be open to reconciliation for the sake of my beautiful children.....but for now and possibly forever.....I have put the past to rest.

On a better, happier note...My children are doing wonderfully. Ethan is thriving at his therapy and has started a new school which he seems to enjoy. Ella Grace is finally getting some hair and has sprouted two little teeth on her bottom gums. She is sitting up by herself but not crawling as of yet. I am blessed with these two little lives and they are my treasures. 2010 can throw whatever it may my way, my strength comes from wanting to be the best mother I can be to them.

God Bless everyone as we start off this New Year. May great things come to all of us!

The pain of Divorce

Remember seesaws from when you were a kid.....well I have probably not been on one in 15 years or more....that is until the word DIVORCE entered in to my world. I am living an emotional seesaw where there are days of sunshine and days of total despair.

For those who do not know, and many of you probably do not, Joey and I are getting divorced. Everything should actually be finalized by the end of the year. I will not lay out the details and place blame on either party, but I will say that this is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. I hurt for myself, for the memories, but mostly for my precious children. I feel like I am failing them in a critical way. I am being forced to make a decision that my children will have to live with for the rest of their lives.

As far as the future goes.....well it is certainly uncertain. I know the with prayer and time all wounds will heal and we will all move forward. I can only hope that my children are spared from the pain in the end.

On a brighter note, I got a new job. I will be starting as a Probation Officer with the Atlanta Southwest probation office on Wednesday. I am nervous about being a full-time working single mother but I know that God will provide a way when things seem so out of control for me.

Ethan starts seeing his new therapist this Monday and he will have a regular appt with her every Monday at 10am. Speech therapy will start after the first of the year. I would ask that you please continue to pray for him as he has such a long road still ahead.

If you could just lift my family up in your prayers. We are all hurting right now as I am sure you can imagine.

God Bless!

Still waiting....

I did forget about you blog family......I just do not have anything new to post right now. Ethan could not get in to therapy last week and we still not have the eval results back. As all you mothers out there know, we have to be the driving force behind things often just to get results.....so needless to say with a little "heck-raising" I got him scheduled for another session this Tuesday at 9:30am.

Stay posted and I will let you guys know how it turns out.

Praying for my baby til then.....

Our journey begins

For those of you who follow me on Facebook then this blog might at first be a little repetitive. A quick overview it this: Ethan has been diagnosed as being developmentally delayed and we have been referred to Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, and a Pediatic Specialist who we can not see until February.
We had our first Occupational Evaluation last week and today Ethan begins his first OT session. I have little to NO idea what to expect from today's session but I am anxious to see how he responds. We still do not have the eval results but they are going to go ahead and start the therapy because the doctor said he definitely qualifies for services.
I am eager to read this detailed evaluation report that we are supposed to be getting soon because I hope it enlightens us to just what we might possibly be facing. As a parent you want to think that everything is perfectly fine and you want to make excuses for anything out of the norm that you might notice with your children. That is what everyone wants to do....everyone but me! I want to know what I am looking at, I want to face it, I want to tackle it head on and do whatever it takes to defeat it and make things the best they can be for my sweet little boy.
So I will painstakenly detail this process for all my friends and family that care enough to read this, to pray through this with us, and lift Ethan up whenever we may cross your minds.

God Bless you all and God Bless Ethan!

seriously slacking

So who said keeping a blog was easy....

I looked at mine today and quickly realized that I have not blogged in almost 3 months which is really pitiful.

So to update:

Ella Grace is now almost 20 weeks old and still a VERY temperamental little thing. Her nicknames around my house are things such as Miss Thang, Miss Priss, Princess, Prissy Pot and Diva...so that might detail for you how her demeanor can sometimes be.

Ethan is doing very well. He just started a new Mommy's Morning Out program and so far he seems to be adjusting well. We are starting slowly this time and will eventually work back up to full time day care when we feel the time is right. For now we have a nanny, Michelle, who is great with the kids and charges us less than what a day care would. She is a God-send.

I have been substituting a lot and I am really hoping something pans out for full time next school year. I really REALLY need a full-time job....I need the money and the benefits and everything....

Joey's business is struggling but hanging in there....I just hope it does not get any worse or I might be forced to take a part time job in addition to the subbing just to make sure the bills get paid.

Anyway that is about it for us. The holiday season is upon us so things are going to be crazy hectic for the next few months.

Hope all is well with everyone!

The Kramers