And so 2010 is underway.....
I spent New Years Eve like every year before since Ethan was born.....curled up on the sofa trying desperately to stay awake and failing miserably at it.
Would I love to be celebrating with friends and family? Of course.....but that time will come around again and for now my focus is on my children and the closeness I share with them.
As many of those of you that actually read this know....I just recently got divorced. That means 2010 and this New Year takes on a whole new meaning for me personally. I would never have chosen this path nor did I expect to ever be sitting in this position but now that I am I am making the best of what is left of the pieces of me.
Is that silly? That I am in pieces? Because I am....I have been attending a Divorce Care class and it was told to me that it will take me 5 years to properly grieve my divorce. 5 YEARS!!!!!! In 5 years both of my children will be in school. Can I really expect to be alone for that long? If so that seems mildly depressing. But I am hopeful that 2010 will be a time for healing and a time for moving on. I am not bitter, I am not resentful or angry.....I have given my marriage everything I can to try to save it at all costs and I am met by a brick wall. I will also be open to reconciliation for the sake of my beautiful children.....but for now and possibly forever.....I have put the past to rest.
On a better, happier note...My children are doing wonderfully. Ethan is thriving at his therapy and has started a new school which he seems to enjoy. Ella Grace is finally getting some hair and has sprouted two little teeth on her bottom gums. She is sitting up by herself but not crawling as of yet. I am blessed with these two little lives and they are my treasures. 2010 can throw whatever it may my way, my strength comes from wanting to be the best mother I can be to them.
God Bless everyone as we start off this New Year. May great things come to all of us!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
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